Weeks before news broke about Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s divorce, social media speculated things had gone to the wayside between them. Then, Lopez self-filed her divorce papers on their second anniversary. Reports followed about the couple not having a prenuptial agreement and how that could affect them. 

How would this affect Lopez and her hard-earned millions? How can other Latinas protect themselves if they are headed to divorce? We decided to ask an expert.

Aliette Hernandez Carolan, Esq., a first-generation Cuban-American, is a seasoned family law attorney and founder of The Quick Divorce. Hernandez Carolan gave Modern Muze the 411 on how women entering single motherhood can protect themselves and their kids. 

The information below does not constitute legal advice. Before making any decision, always consult an attorney for your best options.

How can single mothers-to-be safeguard their financial future during a divorce, especially if no prenuptial agreement is in place?

The best way to safeguard finances is to be in control of them. Working to generate your own income is ideal, but if you have to depend on someone, try to secure lump sum payments when possible. If that is not realistic, you must know your budget and apply the funds you receive for child and/or spousal support responsibly. 

In a high-profile case like JLo’s, where there might not be a prenup, what legal strategies can be employed to protect personal and financial interests?

Without a prenup, parties are subject to the laws of their jurisdiction. In JLo’s case, her marriage to Ben is short term, meaning the exposure should be limited. In these cases, you want to move quickly, comply with the minimum requirements of disclosure, and move on to settlement negotiations.

What are the first legal steps single mothers should take when they sense a marriage might be heading towards divorce?

First, thing is always to get a hold of the finances, as best you can, and create a reasonable budget so that you know what your financial needs are. You cannot negotiate a settlement in your best interest without this!

In cases where the divorce becomes contentious, what strategies can single mothers use to protect themselves and their children legally and emotionally?

Hire a lawyer who is solution-oriented. Don’t hire a lawyer that is rude to their opposing counsel because they consider that a sign of strength when it is in fact a sign of weakness. Get your financial life in order and keep the children out of the litigation as much as possible. They should not be messengers or have to be involved in the day-to-day of the case. 

What legal measures can single mothers take to ensure their children are protected during a divorce? How can custody arrangements be handled to minimize the emotional impact on children?

All parents should start with the belief that their rights are not superior to those of the other parent. Children are entitled to loving relationships with both parents even if one parent is the “better” parent. The reality is that in most cases, mothers take on substantially more than their male counterparts. This alone does not entitle a parent to additional time.  

In Florida, for example, the law changed to now include a presumption in favor of equal time absent a showing of detriment to the child(ren). The worst thing that ever happened was when the legislature tied child support amounts to the number of overnights because this skewed motivations improperly.

The research shows that conflict between the parties is the factor that most negatively affects children, so I always suggest that all transitions occur at school/camp, etc. The less parties have to interact, the less chance of friction between them. Flexibility is another key to minimizing emotional impact. Things happen for both parties. One day everyone will need a favor or some consideration, so pay it forward. Obviously, if one party takes advantage or never returns the favor, then strict adherence to the parenting plan will be required.  

Next, the other factor that most negatively affects children is the number of transitions they have to do between [their] parents’ homes during the week. Devising a plan that gives the children consistency is best. Children will follow your lead. If you support the time-sharing schedule and encourage a healthy relationship with the other parent, they will be fine. 

Lastly, don’t be selfish. It is not our time with the children. It is the children’s time with their parents. They should be able to express their love for their other parent [and] be excited about a fun plan with their other parent without guilt because it may hurt your feelings.