What does sexy mean to you? It feels like sexy is less about thirst traps and more about personal choice. It’s more about confidence and empowerment—think of a clean home, wearing lingerie for yourself, or even better: putting your phone on “Do Not Disturb.” What’s your sexy?

As Valentine’s Day comes closer, we are seeing a shift in what sexy could look and feel like. Is it a night in without any interruptions? Just you, your favorite meal, a clean space, and a beautifully scented candle? Or maybe a time dedicated to work on your to-do list without pressure to be late somewhere? Let’s just say this February, we’re leaning towards a self-care Valentine’s Day, and making it less about embarrassing boyfriends. It’s about not feeling the outdated pressure of a commercial holiday (and sharing it with someone else)—and instead using the day to rejuvenate yourself.

Does this sound like a good plan to you? Here are some ideas to help spark your ‘sexy’ Valentine’s Day next month. Or better yet, a month full of self-love. 

A night in without social media

Picture this: your phone is on “Do Not Disturb,” and you’re not doomscrolling on social media. In fact, you’re not even near your cellphone. It’s just you, a scented candle, your favorite meal, and a dimly lit living room. Want to feel sexy? Maybe you put on lingerie for yourself, or wear your favorite cozy pajamas that just came out of the dryer.

Time to do any putting-off tasks 

Let’s keep it real: we are always busy. We are always on the go. So it’s no shame to have a to-do list full of things we just put off. Need to schedule an oil change? Need to pay a doctor’s bill? We do too. So, why not schedule yourself a morning or evening to get these tedious tasks off your back? A clean inbox or nonexistent to-do list is sexy, too!

A clean atmosphere

Is having a clean living space your type of sexy? Taking time to clean your car or room is sexy. And it’s not like we should see it as a chore either—it’s a privilege to be able to have a clean atmosphere. How lucky are we?

What does sexy mean to you?