Helping LA Families Cope with Grief After the Palisades and Eaton Wildfires: A Guide to Support and Healing

After weeks of the Palisades and Eaton fires ravishing hundreds of homes in Los Angeles, the city and its citizens are grieving. Many families’ entire livelihoods are gone, with the city facing unimaginable loss and a long recovery road ahead.

As they grapple with devastating losses, including loved ones, homes, jobs, and a sense of security, grief is a natural step in the process of healing. Community and support are crucial in offering solace and strength in such moments. While financial support is incredibly impactful, there are many meaningful ways to help grieving families rebuild emotionally.

Here are some ways to support grieving families through these difficult times.

1. Be present and listen

Grief often leaves people feeling isolated. In these challenging times, staying away from saying things like “you need to do this” or “you should do that” is not helpful or productive. In many instances, offering your time and attention can be the most valuable thing to offer. Sit with families, listen to their stories, and allow them to express their emotions without judgment. Simple phrases like “I’m here for you” or “It’s okay to feel this way” can provide immense comfort.

2. Organize emotional support and grief circles

Encourage the creation of small support groups where families can share experiences and hear from others who understand their experiences. These gatherings can foster connections and remind families they are not alone. Dr. Carole Lieberman told TIME, “Be compassionate and empathetic, and ask about the person’s story, because everybody has a story—or lots of stories.”

3. Offer practical help

Rather than offering advice, there’s much to do in the aftermath of the fires. With an overwhelming, endless to-do list, you can assist with errands, babysitting, pet sitting or fostering for a few days, and helping clean up debris. Sometimes, the best way to help is to be there for people.

4. Provide pressure-free check in’s

You don’t have to say a lot during these challenging times for people to feel supported. Reaching out with small gestures and check-ins can greatly encourage and help. Instead of overwhelming your friends or family with long messages they may feel pressured to respond to, send messages such as “I’m hoping you’re doing well, is there any way I can help?” or say “I’m just checking in, but don’t feel pressured to respond if you need anything, I’m here for you whenever you need.”

5. Connect them with long-term healing options like therapy

Encourage families to join support groups or therapy services when they’re ready. Several free outlets are available, including Call Your Fam, with over 650 therapists offering free help for victims. You can start the process by texting (858) 722-1920 or DM @callyourfam. The Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health Resources also has this complete list of resources for those impacted by the wildfires.

Talking to Your Children About the Los Angeles Wildfires: A Guide for Parents Amid Tragedy

As the Los Angeles Palisades and Eaton fires continue ravaging the city, many families have lost their homes. The situation is exceptionally challenging for adults but also for children who may not know how to process what is happening.

If you’re having trouble speaking to your kids during these challenging moments, Allison LaTona at BABYGROUP has shared tips on discussing what is happening and the road forward.

“Young children won’t understand the full impact of what is happening or what the immediate future will mean,” LaTona shares. “They live in the moment and need to be re-directed to activities where they can take a break from the reality around them as well as lots of reassurance and connection with you.”

Refrain from talking about fires or having the news on around young children

LaTona’s first tip is to keep children away from the news and the television.

“I know this is going to be one of the hardest things you will do as you are also dealing with your own feelings of loss, and continuing to cope with the fear you felt when trying to get to your kids from work/pick them up from school, or possibly being trapped on the road trying to escape the flames,” she explains. “I know that sense of panic you are feeling right now.  Do your best to set it aside and create the coziest space you can for you, and your children.”

Additionally, LaTona recommends telling children what is happening in a story format, as if it were a book or coming from a teacher. Here’s a prompt she recommends using:

“Sometimes we get a rain storm, or a snow storm, and this time, there is a firestorm. There are helpers called firefighters who help people stay safe by taking them to a safe space where there is no fire…like where we are now…there is no fire here and we are in a safe space together.”  

You can also add, “The firefighters help mommies and daddies get to their children so they can all be together again. The firefighters spray lots and lots of water on the fire to make it go away. This can take a very long time but the firefighters are strong and brave, and they know how to do this to keep everyone safe.”

Include emotional tones such as “It is very sad….(pause)….but sometimes the fire does burn the grass……and the trees…..and the houses…..and we can’t go back to that house again.” If you or your children begin crying, it is okay to let them comfort you and to comfort them.

Provide reassurance

Although children may not know exactly what is going on, it’s normal for them to feel scared. One way to comfort them is by providing reassurance. LaTona recommends being honest, keeping sentences short, holding them, being repetitive, and using the word “safe” often.

You can use this prompt as an example when providing reassurance:

“Sometimes mommy/daddy burns the toast and it leaves a bad smell in the air…that is what is happening outside. Some things got burned and so it is making lots of smoke, and dust in the air, and it smells bad. We need to stay inside today to protect our bodies and keep our bodies safe from the smokey air and dust. We are safe. And also, “We will be able to go outside again soon.”  

Acknowledge people helping in the community

Help your children feel safe by letting them know there’s help around them. One way to do this is by acknowledging helpers. From helicopters to sirens, make sure you explain to them what is going on. For example, “Those are helicopters dumping water on the things that are burning,” or “Those are the firefighters driving to the burning places so they can spray water.”

Engage children in activities to keep them distracted

If you ever built a fort as a child, this is the time to do so again! LaTona shares that these kinds of containment helps children feel safe.

This is also a good time to engage them in arts and crafts, without making it overly complicated. Painting, coloring, gluing, cutting, and other activities that keep children an outlet to release anxiety and worrying. You can also have them paint so they can process feeling scared without judgement. Another great activity is to watch movies or clips of the family having a good time, so they can remember happy memories.

For families with children of diverse ages, have older children help you in making the little ones feel safe. This can help them feel included and empowered.

Mattel Celebrates Rita Moreno With New Barbie in Her Honor

Rita Moreno is now a Barbie girl.

The EGOT winner recently became the latest Latina artist honored with a Barbie doll. Turns out Mattel is celebrating the Puerto Rican icon before her 93rd birthday on December 11. On November 20, the doll became part of the Barbie Tribute Collection, paying homage to the barriers Moreno overcame on her path to stardom. Previous honorees include Vera Wang, Laverne Cox, and Lucille Ball.

Courtesy of Mattel

Inspired by the West Side Story actress’s most famous red carpet moments, the doll sports a stunning, elegant black and gold gown with a strapless sweetheart neckline and a long skirt with gorgeous metallic designs. The Barbie also has opera gloves, classic heels, a sleek up-do with bangs, a golden hairpin, and statement earrings.

“I was a girl who decided to go for it, and despite the challenges I faced, I never gave up on my dreams,” Moreno said in a statement to Mattel. That’s what I hope this doll inspires in each and every girl today: to live their life with courage and resilience so that they can make their dreams a reality.”

Photo Courtesey of Mattel

Adding, “It’s been an absolute pleasure to work with Barbie to bring this doll to life, and I hope it serves as a reminder to embrace your limitless possibilities and pursue your passions because when you embrace them, you’re bound to go far.”

Throughout her career, Moreno has used her voice to uplift Latinos and their stories. In addition to her artistic pursuits, she is the National Honorary Chair of the Latinas & Power Corp. Advisory Council, guiding the new Latinas in Leadership Institute.

You can buy the newest Barbie Mattel for $40.

Karol G and Selena Gomez Join Forces for Mental Health

Karol G was Selena Gomez’s special guest once again. This time for the Rare Impact Fund’s benefit gala in Los Angeles.

As part of Gomez’s artistry brand, Rare Beauty, the fund focuses on making mental health more accessible. This year, she invited the Colombian superstar in support of the cause and they shared several special moments together.

 “It’s not only about creating music but about using our voices for things that truly matter,” the Bichota shared on the red carpet, where both artists hugged.

Selena Gomez hosted the star-studded gala focused on supporting youth’s mental health

On October 24, Selena Gomez brought together many Hollywood A-Listers to make an impact on mental health for youth. This was the fund’s second year hosting the fundraiser. Celebrities like Billy Crudup, athletes like Whitney Simmons, and musical artists like Karol G and Teddy Swims attended the gala.

“This non-traditional, cocktail style fundraiser welcomes a global community of mental health partners and guests, ranging from entertainment and business executives to celebrity friends and philanthropists, for an inspiring night of impact, food, drinks, entertainment, and a live auction,” the Rare Impact Fund posted on their website.

The “Only Murders in the Building” star also shared her gratitude for everyone’s contributions to her cause on Instagram.

“What a wonderful night! I was honored to host the annual Rare Impact Fund Benefit yesterday for the second year in LA,” she wrote. “This is the reason why @rarebeauty has changed my life but millions of others through work we all have done together. I have so much gratitude for those who came, listened and contributed!”

The Rare Impact fund was founded in 2020 by Gomez with the purpose of raising $100 million globally to support youth mental health.